“Oh what a friend we have in Jesus…”
How incredibly lucky and blessed we are to have a friend in Jesus. Friends come and go in life but one remains. Always by our sides, even at our darkest. I’ve noticed a lot of times our own friends can’t handle that. When it’s all good, it’s good, but what about when things take a turn for the worse? Are we really there for each other like we say we are? “I’m always here for you, if you ever need anything, to talk to, someone to listen, I’ll be there.” But are we really? Sometime’s we can’t drop everything to be there for someone who needs a friend because we get busy, or quite frankly we just don’t have the energy to deal with it. We forget while we are in a good season of our lives, someone else may need us more than we need them. It’s human nature to crave the presence of another person when we are going through tough times, just for comfort. But sometime’s we just can’t have that, we end up feeling like the friend who takes the back burner… we are left to deal with it alone…. we are alone.. but not all alone…
“He walks with me and talks with me along life’s narrow way”
I’ve been dealing with my own battles lately. I’ve been stressed out, I’ve been in my own head too much, overthinking, overanalyzing, and honestly, I’m exhausted. Mentally exhausted with life. Physically exhausted from stress. I haven’t caught a break from it. I’m just exhausted.
I feel like the reject friend, who everyone forgets about. Even though I know I’m not (that’s part of the overthinking that I was talking about). I feel like none of my friends are truly here for me like they say they are. Then I get angry and think to myself “why is it that I try so hard to be there anytime a friend needs me, but I can’t get the same in return.” That’s just as unhealthy to think that no one cares… they do. I know they do. I don’t feel like they do, but I know in my heart they still do. Then it gets to the point when I don’t have a friend to talk to, I bottle it up inside of me and shut people out. I feel like nobody cares so why bother even talking about it at all? I wear myself thin overthinking about why I feel all alone in my struggle. But I forget that I’m not all alone. I was never all alone.
I think because my homie Jesus isn’t here physically to call up and talk to and hangout with like a regular friend I forget that I have him. But He is here physically. I can “call him” or call to Him and talk, and He does actually answer back. We just have to listen. I think that’s where it all gets foggy. We’ve got the talking down, just not the listening.
Even when I’m alone at night with my thoughts and nothing but time to overthink, and wear myself out, He is listening, He is answering, and He is trying to help me understand but I’m too busy in my own head to stop and just listen. Even when I’m breaking down, and even sometimes crying myself to sleep, He is there with his arms wrapped around me, trying to comfort me, trying to heal me but I’m too focused on the hurt to just take a deep breath and embrace Him back. It’s in those little moments I need to remember He never left me. When I was going through hell and back in my life, He never left me, he was there, coming after me, never giving up on me. When I was excited, and happy, and living life with no worries, He never left me, He was celebrating with me, “chillin” with me, having fun with me. And now that I am riding the struggle bus for a little while, He is sitting right beside me, hitting every bump in the road along with me, missing my stops with me. He is there through every season of life. What better friend could we ever ask for? When we fail ourselves, when we fail other people, and when our friends fail us, we still have the ultimate homie, the “bestest good friend.” <-(peep my Forrest Gump reference)
So it’s going to be okay. I’m going to be okay. I’m going to make my stop, get off the bus, and enter into the next season of my life and He will be with me for that too.
It’s just a bad day… not a bad life.